I've been visiting my daughter, getting to know the newest addition to our family. Isn't she just beautiful! Taking her picture was a lot easier than trying to get a picture of the 4 of them together!

What Now?

I've spent a LOT of time trying to get to know myself. Now I'm at the point that I want to be doing something. There are so many things out there, how does a person pick? These are the things I'm thinking about. Foster care, I've thought about it many times, even went through all the classes in KS, it keeps coming back, so I'm thinking about it again. Volunteering to work with a program at the horse park that does therapy using horses. Our church has a back pack program, they fill hundreds of back packs with food on Fridays for children who might not get to eat without them. Those are just a few idea's. I just need to pick something and get started!

Better

I knew it wouldn't last long. My weekend was wonderful! The weather was beautiful. The temps were still very high, but the humidity was low. My nephews were here with us, we cooked out, went to the farmers market, had a picnic by the river. So nice!

I waited patiently for the Lord;

he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit

and out of the mud and mire;

He set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand.

Psalm 40:1-2

Wondering?

Do you have days when you just feel heavy? Physically heavy, emotionally heavy, spiritually heavy? That's how I feel right now. Just all over heavy. I keep exercising because I know I should, but it's so much work. Emotionally I feel disconnected from everything, but don't want to reach out and connect. I'm a people person, I need people, they are like breath to me, but sometimes it's just too much work to reach out. Reaching out would be pointless when I feel this way, because even if someone is here, I can't connect with them. I pick up my bible , and it's all just words on a page, it's as if I don't even know how to read. Trying to pray, connect with God feels just as pointless as reaching out to people right now. The good thing is, it's just day a day, or in this case two. Rationally, I know it won't last long, it never does, but while I'm in it, IT feels like forever. So, I go through the motions, get out of bed, go to the gym, make cupcakes for my life group, answer the phone (sometimes) smile at MP when he comes home early with a gift in hand. I'll go to bed early and hope the heaviness is gone when the alarm goes off in the morning.

Keepin On

This week it's been tough keepin on - the scale still hasn't moved and I'm working out more than ever, running 5 days a week and going to the gym 3. (Well I didn't go today for a multitude of reasons) The scale isn't budging. I feel like I make good food choices most of the time, I started keeping my food journal again, just in case I've been fooling myself. I spite of that, I am still running, and feeling pretty good about it too! My trainer changed up my strength training routine and boy is it hurting me! Today starts the weekend, the time when I usually have the hardest time, so my strategy? No eating out, trying some new recipes and going to the farmers market tomorrow to get some fresh fruit and veggies! Got to get that scale moving again. And don't think that because I didn't go to the gym this morning that I'm not getting a workout, I've already worked in the yard for an hour and plan to do the mowing after I pick J up from work. One more positive, someone took a picture last night of our group of friends and I almost didn't recognize myself, I really do look different!

July 22 she arrived!

Here is the newest arrival to our family tree. We share a middle name, Michelle. I am honored! B says it fits her perfectly. She arrived with no trouble at all July 22. Isn't she beautiful! I'm sure I will have many more pictures in the coming weeks. I can't wait to visit!

This weekend was a first for me, one of many I hope. I was a facilitator at a National Guard Prep Retreat. Prep is a marriage enrichment program. It was so much fun. Since this was my first experience facilitating Prep I was nervous, but the couples were so great! A few years ago I would not have thought of doing this, but when MP presented the opportunity I jumped and so glad that I did. Amazing how God works to mold and shape us.

Just a few pics

I've been away for a few weeks, visiting with my beautiful daughter B, she's expecting her 4th child, and the plan was for me to be there to help out. I've been there for the other 3. Sadly, I had to come home before the little girl arrived. She will be here tomorrow for sure, and I can't wait to meet her!

This is the big brother, he is going to have his hands full with 3 sisters. He loves them all though, he calls them his girls.

This is the baby, not for long!

This is the biggest sister. She is going to have the hardest time of all. She gets upset just looking at the new babies things.

You always wonder how you can love something so much, and still have room in your heart for more, but somehow, you always do. I didn't think I could possibly love anyone as much as I loved my own children, but I have to say grandchildren are amazing!!!!! I can't wait for the 4th to come, and later this year, Big Jon will have his first. My heart is going to burst!