Tuesday, August 3, 2010


Do you have days when you just feel heavy? Physically heavy, emotionally heavy, spiritually heavy? That's how I feel right now. Just all over heavy. I keep exercising because I know I should, but it's so much work. Emotionally I feel disconnected from everything, but don't want to reach out and connect. I'm a people person, I need people, they are like breath to me, but sometimes it's just too much work to reach out. Reaching out would be pointless when I feel this way, because even if someone is here, I can't connect with them. I pick up my bible , and it's all just words on a page, it's as if I don't even know how to read. Trying to pray, connect with God feels just as pointless as reaching out to people right now. The good thing is, it's just day a day, or in this case two. Rationally, I know it won't last long, it never does, but while I'm in it, IT feels like forever. So, I go through the motions, get out of bed, go to the gym, make cupcakes for my life group, answer the phone (sometimes) smile at MP when he comes home early with a gift in hand. I'll go to bed early and hope the heaviness is gone when the alarm goes off in the morning.

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