Friday, November 19, 2010

The Scale

I've been back to the gym for 3 weeks. The scale has not been my friend. I've been bouncing around this 184-190 range for 7 weeks now. Even more depressing is the fact that my husband showed me a text from June that simply said 199. That means I've been in this 15 pound range for 6 months. What does that tell me? I had better up the effort. I do work hard in the gym, and I'm there 4-5 times a week, it's the food thing that gets me. I love food! I have great intentions. I shop really well, my cupboards are full of good for you food, very little junk. The problem comes when I don't feel like cooking, cutting, chopping. . . going out is so much easier. Third Street Cafe, Tres Amigo's, Olive Garden, Starbucks, Coffee Times, all places I've visited this week. Not to mention the near amazing sweet potato cupcakes I made on Tuesday. So, I guess, rather than blaming the scale, and accusing it of not being my friend, I have only myself to blame. Self, "get with it"!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

What I know about me

These are the things I know about myself.

Relationships are the most important thing to me

I like to be part of a group

I forgive easily, always giving people a second chance

I'm a "real" person, genuine and authentic

I believe in treating people fairly

I say these things because deep inside I know them to be true. If I was looking for a friend and this was the resume that came up I would say, hmm, maybe I should interview this person, she just might work. Why then does my "self talk" not bring out these qualities about myself. Why although I know these things are true, can I not see them. Why can I be forgiving to others, but not myself, let others see the real me but can't let myself see, why can I treat other's fairly, but not myself? Maybe I need to look at my "resume" occasionally, and say "hey, she might just work!"

Monday, November 1, 2010

Wedding Day

MP did a wedding Saturday. Doesn't he look handsome! I went back and forth about whether or not I was going to attend. I didn't know the people at all, but they did invite me. I didn't have anything to wear because I have lost so much weight since last fall. The really big thing, I DON'T HAVE HAIR! I decided to just do it. I was blessed.
It was a beautiful day. The wedding was sweet, a small private family ceremony, in a cute little tea shop. The bride was beautiful, the groom was nervous. The bride was so careful, and so concerned that the guests were happy and well taken care of. I watched her go from person to person, leaving everyone she talked to with a smile. It was her day, and she spent it loving people. I learned something from her. I spent so much time thinking about myself, I almost missed witnessing the beauty of two people committing to do life together. The day wasn't about me, so it really didn't matter what I wore, or was or wasn't on my head. Why is it that so much of the time I make things about me. Is it human nature? or is it just me?
I need to remember that I am here to love God, and love people. I don't need clothes that fit, or hair on my head to do those things.