Thursday, June 24, 2010

Mercy

"I love God because he listened to me, listened as I begged for mercy. He listened so intently as I laid out my case before him. Death stared me in the face, hell was hard on my heels. Up against it, I didn't know which way to turn; then I called out to God for help: "Please God!" I cried out. "Save my life!" God is gracious-it is he who makes things right, our most compassionate God. God takes the side of the helpless; when I was at the end of my rope, he saved me." Ps 116:1 - The Message

26 years ago, I had a beautiful baby boy and I married his father, somehow thinking that getting married was making all the wrong I had done, right. Foolishness, rebellion, shattered dreams. I had 2 more beautiful babies and days, weeks, months of fear, anger, shame. The father was an addict. He came from generations of addiction. I knew when I married him, somehow I thought that love would make it better. He tried, program after program. He couldn't beat it, I gave up fighting and left.

My shame kept me from going to THE ONE who could help. When I gave up and turned to God, he answered me, was right there waiting for me. Mercy. I prayed for years and years that the generations of addiction would not be passed to our children. I cried out to God many nights as one child struggled.

Then today. . .the fathers Jr., comes to tell me with great excitement about his new job. Working at the rescue mission, with recovering addicts. This is my boy who cried and prayed for nights that God would help his father "stop drinking beer". It seems like I've watched things going full circle. God is good. Mercy.

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